【今週のトリコ】 ~グルメ81 脱力!!~

「今週の」じゃないんだけども(苦笑)、まぁ休んでた分です。


滝丸(キャラ薄い) vs ボギーウッズ(お笑い)は、両者ノックアウトで決着。

「さすがにアレで無事とか無理ゲー」とばかり倒れ込む滝丸─────しかし、ボギーはまだ折れていなかった! 骨格の要『仙骨』を抜き取られてもなお、なんかピクピク動いています。さすがは美食會のお笑いキャラ支部長。「まだだ! まだ終わらんよ・・・!」

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(う・・・動け・・・オレの体・・・・4000コの骨よ・・・・!!)

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えええええええええ~!

空気の読めない同僚・バリーガモン見参にもう大爆笑

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─────いや、仙骨はまだ無事! 「あー良かった。さすがにコレで終わりとかないわー。つーか、あの脳あとでぶっ殺す・・・

しかし、直後バリーガモンを追撃してきたマッチ、

「一刀両断・かぶと切り!」

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やっぱりダメだった仙骨うぼぁー

(主に精神的な)ショックで気絶するボギーウッズ・・・・・最後まで愉快な奴だったぞ!

一方、マッチ vs バリーガモン(脳筋)の方は──────

ガタイに似合わず素早い動きのバリーに、マッチが翻弄される展開。銃弾は例のアブラガードで滑らされ、おまけに変な防具が妙に硬く、マッチの居合いでも歯が立たない。

「オレの攻撃に対する反応の早さ・・・・動きのスピード・・・・この氷点下の中、防寒服も着ずになぜそこまで素早く動ける?」

その秘密は、バリーの体からしみ出す変なアブラ汗

「これは汗じゃねぇ。『不凍液』だ」

・不凍液(氷点降下剤)

南極など海水が0度以下になる海に棲む魚は、体内で不凍性のタンパク質(天然不凍液)を作り出し、体が凍るのを防いでいるという。

「オレが早いんじゃねえよ。お前が遅いんだよ

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「こんな環境じゃあ筋肉の柔軟性は落ち、関節の可動域も狭くなる─────オレの体は不凍液で氷点下でも凍らない上に、特殊なタンパク質で体温を高く保つことができる。つまりだ・・・」

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ただの脳筋キャラかと思いきや、わりとインテリ風に語ったりもできるバリーガモン。このムッチャ寒い『氷の大陸』は、バリーにとってはむしろアドバンテージ・プレイス。それにしたって、別に裸である必要もないと思うんだが・・・・・

(オレの動きが鈍っていたから・・・・・確かに・・・・寒さで瞬発力が落ちては、技の威力もスピードも全く発揮できねぇ。もっと・・・・・“振り幅”を・・・・

マッチの基本技「居合い切り」は、脱力状態から攻撃に転じる際の「力の幅」が大きければ大きいほど、速度・威力が高まる────という設定。ま、どこの郭 海皇の「攻めの消力(シャオリー)」だよとか、そういうことは言わないでおきましょう。大人のエチケットです

(もっと・・・・“脱力”せねば・・・・)

マッチ、戦闘中にリラックス宣言。

もちろん、そんな「脱力っぷり」をのんびり眺めているほどバリーガモンも脱力してないので、さっさと攻撃に転じるも────それを防ぐのが我らグルメヤクザ3人衆!

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まだ全員の名も出ていないのに、ダイヤモンド級の死亡フラグを完成させてしまった。

(ほんの少しの間、こらえてくれお前ら・・・!
完全なる脱力が完成するまでの時間──

3分・・・・・」

ぜんぜん「ほんの少し」じゃないよ副組長! といったところで次回につづく。

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